does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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