idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
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Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
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How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
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