It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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