Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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