i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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