walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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