So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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