The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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