she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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