She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
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we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
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Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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