when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize