if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
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