last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize