3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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