Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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