HIV tests are more positive than that guy
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
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