Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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