i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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