Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
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Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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