Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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