Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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