your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize