Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize