if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Holy shit dude........stairs
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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