The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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