Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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