Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you told grandpa to call you daddy
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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