omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize