Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
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I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
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I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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