If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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