I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize