um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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