just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
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It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
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He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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