I just made out with a guy for $7.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I would ride that face into the sunset
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