I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize