Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
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I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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