now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize