yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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