We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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