It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Will exercising make me less horny?
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