please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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