i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize