The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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