I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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