just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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