All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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