Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
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just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
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Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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