I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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