Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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