if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize